long time no post. Quick update: still working at the preschool m-f and tutoring by night. It's really great. I keep debating on whether or not I want to go back to school. On one hand, now is the time to do it...and if I buckle down for a few years I could have my masters. BUT as aforementioned in the title to this post, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE FREE. By night I can watch tv, workout, scrapbook, hang out with Ted, make PLANS with friends, talk on the phone, waste time on the computer, read, daydream, cook.....so my new years resolutions are hanging in limbo. We'll see what happens! I should probably do it. It is hard to get motivated though.

I'm currently in the midst of snow day 2. While I'm loving the free time, it's almost too much. I am listening to music and scrapbooking: two things that help my mind concentrate and actually think about my life. Which is going well, btw but I want to live with a purpose, not just float. It is so nice to just enjoy life without a giant agenda lurking over your every move! Sigh.

LOST is back and I'm so glad! Oh how I've missed it. And it is is so amazing.

Welp, I'm off to ponder more life goals. Wish me luck.

I save up stories and thoughts to put on here, and they're really important to me. But when I feel like writing it down it falls right out of my head and I prattle on about trivial things. Oh well, trivial things it is. The Dark Knight--was awesome. Action movies that have a plot behind them, this is whats great about these movies. The new Batman movies are just excellently done. We love stories about heroes, but these movies always making me feel sad. In literature the hero is never the blatant hero; his methods are always questioned as are his motives. He always has many people around but is desperately lonely.When the mob feels like it, they turn against him so they can have someone to blame for whatever is wrong but don't have any problems when they are rescued by said hero. Does this remind us of anyone? "Character is what you do when no one is looking".  When I think of how many times Jesus resisted being the "obvious" hero it makes me love him even more...not that I'm comparing Jesus to Batman...whatever.

What else. I'm still job hunting but have had several leads--which is exciting! VBS went well, and I'm so glad we did it. The kids are so smart, and its crazy how much they pick up on in the short time they're there. Speaking of kids--Sarah had Eliab! I can't wait to meet him! I can't beleive she's a mom, it was always something that was going to happen in the future, its so strange when you see the present change into the future right before your eyes.

Going camping next weekend: we have been watching LOST so we can play lost in the woods. I can't wait. BRING IT ON WILDERNESS! (but not too much, because I'm not that outdoorsy) So you will get updated on that afterwards. Stay tuned because xanga is oh so happening.

So, apparently, no matter how much time goes on or life experiences happen, the people that annoyed you in the past will come back and annoy you in the present and/or future. You cannot escape, it is inevitable. Accept it and be prepared with some witty comebacks, something awesome going on in your life to one up them with, or an escape route. Who are these people you ask? Oh, no one in particular. The girl you grew up with who was unbearably smug and only nice to you if you were thin , your fellow cashier who stalked you even though he knew you had a boyfriend (and who you thought was really gay), or that person whose goal in life is to pretend to be your friend but give you back handed insults disguised as compliments and steal all your friends. ANYWAYS, who these people are aren't important but the fact remains: you think you've moved on and are mature but you're not so this is why you should be prepared. They will come out of nowhere insulting you in disguise or begging you to hang out but then guilt tripping you for never calling them. I am saying this because I need to work on a strategy myself. Suggestions would be great. More on this later.

I don't know if I've informed you all of Carrie Time, but it is a legitimate thing. For some people, everyday life things are simple. Getting books from the library. Doing the dishes. Cooking a simple meal. For me? Anyone of those activities could take hours, days, YEARS. I am in slow motion or high gear, I cannot be forced to be on another persons time table. It cannot be done. This comes from a long time of having to be on an enforced schedule 24/7. For 18 years to be exact. I blame sports and all those other things we're expected by our peers to be involved with all the freakin time. Anywho...all this to say, yesterday I decided to procrastinate packing by making dinner for Ted. He loves chicken chili so I was like I'm all gung ho to conquer something new. Well, I pace and pace the aisles of Wal-Mart forever looking for all these dumb ingredients which should be easy to find but are not. After more than likely being suspected of shop lifting or being crazy I made it out of there, only to make a huge mess in the kitchen, burning my eyes, hands, and ruining two shirts. It took me all afternoon. This is why I don't cook. It cost me more to do that than to do order food. BUT COOKING IS MORE HEALTHY. I know this! But it is so much harder! I'm not a fan. There it is, I am not a housewife. My secret is out. I am not. I cannot do it! For you girls out there who make it their goal to be competitive in every aspect of life, hats off. I am pulling out of the race and being content with being the master at nothing and the observer of all.

I already miss the days of working when I had an excuse to not do anything around the house. I also miss the blind adoration that comes from 4 year olds. They don't realize yet if you're the person getting talked down to by peers, or who isn't the best at everything, they just want you to dance with them to random Baha Men songs and swing them in circles. dah!

All of this to put off cleaning the kitchen. Meh!